Pillow Talk on Daycare

Andrew-8 mths
Originally uploaded by katebunge.

I have a love-hate relationship with daycare facilities. This is not a post
about how sending your kid to a daycare is wrong, because I know that there
are millions of parents who must put their kids in daycares. My point is, I
have always been a firm believer that if you can avoid sending your children
to daycare stay home with them, it's really much more ideal. Sometimes I
think people have gotten way out of control with thinking they need to
sustain 2 incomes to pay for all of the unnecessary things like Plasma tvs,
Hummers and the endless supply of useless toys for said kid. We all
want the American dream, including myself like I mentioned in earlier posts
about needing to get a better job to upgrade my income, but I'm talking
about necessary things like a modest house in a nice neighborhood.

So why am I bantering about daycare today, you ask? Because I took
Andrew to work with me last week to spend 2 days in the back-up daycare
facility they have there, just to give Dave a break while he wanted to get
some other things done, and we have been paying for it ever since in
the form of fevers, sleepless nights, occasional vomit, and endless
diarrhea. How do these parents of kids in daycare all the time do it?
Well, I gotta go - I've got another runny diaper waiting for me to change.

Shhh... Mama's Watching "Lost"

Since today, Thursday, September 28, 2006, will be the first in all of the next Thursday postings following the new episodes of the best drama TV has ever seen, I say, let's light this candle and get Lost back on the air. No more recap shows. No more reaction shots to the phantom jungle noises. No more first season whining about the crash. No more! Give me what I need. Feed my addiction. GIVE ME A NEW EPISODE OF LOST. One more week to wait for season three. Alas, it will be a long week.

As for my review of the recap show, as a dedicated viewer of the show since day one, I didn’t need the backstory in the first half of the show. As far as I was concerned the juice didn’t start to flow again until I was reminded of all the twists and turns of the season finale of last year. And imagine my disappointment when I learned they weren’t going to show the season finale again! I swear the TV Guide stated that they were going to show the season finale on Monday night 9/25. I'm not the only one who saw that. And Monday night came and went with no Lost. As someone who did not spend big bucks on the DVD, I was hanging on thinking they would at least show the season finale again. Big bummer. But I was still searching the show for all the hanging clues….. henry Gale says to Michael, "Follow compass point 3-2-5" as he drives away in the boat with Walt…. I’ve been trying to figure that one out since last May. The stuff on You Tube totally blows me away. And are the Others the good guys? Is the island caught in a time warp, another dimension created by the Hanso Foundation? Are they ever going to get back to the colossal foot that Said found on the other side of the island? And how about Desmond – did he die in the atomic white-out?

Breathe, Kate, breathe. It will be a long season. A long season to ponder the many theories. Anyone else a freak like me?

Babies and Bad Hair Days

Forget my sagging boobs, bulging butt or crow's feet, my children have completely ruined my hair. Ever since I had my first child, it has never bounced back. Literally. It is this mane of brown frizz that calls itself a hairstyle. And I can only have one type of hairstyle now - no longer can I enjoy long shiny locks, I am now under the control of these wavy, frizzy strands. And before you ask, do I look like I have the time to use a straightening iron in the morning while I'm trying to beat the clock to get to work on time? Noway. It's the "mommy" look for me: EASY. Thanks to a great hairstylist and some hairspray, I have found one easy hairstyle that lets me have a pretty low-maintenance "do". All my products are lined up and ready to go.

Recently I have finally settled into the acceptance of having to conform to this one hairstyle. And thanks to the help of my trusty hairspray I can usually have a pretty cool coif. Little did I know, that things were about to change. One day not long ago, Dave came home from the grocery store with about 3 bottles of my favorite hairspray: Finesse. He said they were on the clearance rack, and thought I would appreciate stocking up. Well now that my stock has run dry, I put my hairspray back on the grocery list. Dave returns from the grocery store with no hairspray. He claims it is nowhere to be found. In a panic, I run to the grocery store in disbelief. And he's right. Not there. I run to Target. No there either. I have not exhausted all resources yet, but I fear something larger may have happened here. The obvious should have dawned on me when Dave returned with bottles from the clearance rack -- are they getting rid of Finesse? How can they do this to me? Have you ever been attached to a brand?

My search still continues. But I'm getting scared. I'm really fussy about my hair. I don't wear that much makeup, I hate lipstick, I'm not that much of a fashion diva, but rainy days and wind tunnels totally ruin my day.

Fox News vs. Bill Clinton and The Dems: Round 1

I've been so caught up with my job news over the past few days, that I've neglected to comment on Bill Clinton's most recent interview on Fox News (I'm not putting a link here purposefully). I have always loved Bill Clinton, regardless of his dalliances with a certain intern while in office, he is a great leader, a cunning politician, and is an extremely intellectual and smart person, which is far from an accurate description of our current President. While a student at Rutgers University, I shook hands with him during one of his visits. I was exceptionally pleased to find that he is just as charismatic in person.

So imagine my excitement when I viewed his most recent interview with Chris Wallace on Fox News. I don't watch Fox News, so it was only through other news programs that I came across the heated exchange. The DNC chairman, Howard Dean, stated it's just what the democrats needed to fuel the November elections, and my goodness how correct he is. There has been some peer pressure to conform lately, for fear America will not trust democrats to handle national security, and it's about time somebody spoke up against that impression. Thanks, Bill, once again for giving new found life to my party!

Follow up to the Big News

I realized after Christina's comment that I failed to mention that we don't have to move to Chicago for the job. They are going to keep it here in Columbus since they have some employees from the team already here. I will have to work with my boss remotely, but with instant messaging, phones and email, it should be fine. Now this particularly part of the news gets even better -- they have 2 sites here in Columbus one that's about a 25 minute commute for me in the morning, and one that happens to be right down the street from me. So not only is the job staying in Columbus, they are moving me to the building that is right down the street from me. I mean, this place is so close I could come home for lunch if I wanted to and see the kids! That to me was a great perk about this job, too. I don't think it all could get any better. But now the real work begins. After leaving my job in NYC in 1999, I've had pretty no-brainer jobs for the last 5 years because I could never land a better one, so now that I've finally landed a better one, it's becoming apparant to me in the haze of my hangover that I'm scared as shit... Yikes!

Not Big News, It's Like BIG NEWS

I got the Job!!! And it's not like, I got the job, hey great I'm making more money and doing something cool, it's like I'm making 65% MORE MONEY and doing something REALLY COOL. I'm still in a state of shock. To share with you the setting leading up to the biggest news of my recent life, picture me, at my computer working diligently on a powerpoint deck that is due next Wednesday, when the phone rings. It is an HR recruiter. And I'm thinking, "OK, he's calling to either tell me I've been rejected or to offer me the job." (For those of you keeping up, you know I had 7 interviews last week for this job, so it's been quite grueling to say the least). I was completely deaf to his whole introductory speech until he made it up to the these words: "....so that being said, they would like to extend the offer to you for the position, and this is a big jump for you in salary as they would like to offer you $X." At which time my hand begins to shake and an ear to ear grin begins to take over my whole face. He then continues, "I think this is probably the biggest salary increase I have ever seen someone get here at " 'company x' ". Trying to contain my composure before I transform into some giddy school girl and start screaming with glee as I run down the halls of the cubes, I didn't want to totally freak out on this HR guy, who had a really deep and sexy voice by the way. With an "ahem", I obviously took their offer.

Maybe this all sounds so silly to some readers out there who have been making a lot of money for a while now, but since me and Dave's financial setbacks about 5 years ago, it has taken this long to get back on track. I'm 35 years old right now, and I felt time was ticking away for me to get my career back on track. We have 2 children who need to live in a nice neighborhood in a good school district. We need a new car. We need to buy a house someday. And we need a new computer. I really don't want much out of life, but this living paycheck to paycheck type of lifestyle is for the birds. I've laid awake far too many nights worrying about how the electric bill was going to get paid, or praying to God that our kids don't get terribly sick because where was I going to come up with a hospital co-pay, and I would be damned if I had to crawl back to my mother's again to have her bail me out. So if you haven't noticed, I'm feeling really good about myself today. I know everyone has been wishing me well over these past few weeks, so thanks for that. Dave and I went out with his sister and her husband last night to celebrate, while my niece watched the kids. The last 24 hours have been a really whirlwind talking to friends and family. I'm still dizzy with excitement.

The way I feel about this right now is that all these dues have finally paid off -- I'm so PSYCHED.

False Alarm

Special thanks to my blogging buddies who wished us well for CJ's surgery. However, it seems as though we got all worked up for nothing yesterday, as the surgery ended up having to be postponed. The most bizarre thing happened on the way downtown to the hospital - CJ's left eye started to puff up, like when you get an allergen in it or when you have pink eye. We had dropped off Andrew at Dave's sister's in the morning, and literally within 20 mins his eye puffs up to the size of about half a ping pong ball. We mentioned this to the nurses, and we got as far as pre-op when the surgeon came over to look at his eyes and expressed his concern for going ahead with the surgery for fear that we weren't sure whether or not this could be the beginnings of pink eye. I would have bet money on the fact that this was an allergy in his eye, and the Dr felt pretty certain that it was probably the case, however the 1% chance that we were all wrong, could be devastating to his vision in that eye. So, to play it safe, we left. Don't know the date of the new surgery yet, but I'm now worried that it may come around the time of his birthday (which is in 2 weeks). Not that we have any major party plans for his birthday other than with family and close friends, but I just feel bad for him that it could be scheduled around his big day. He'll be turning 5, and he's all excited about it (ahh, to be young again!) I told him, "Enjoy 4 while you've got it, babe!"

So, all in all, yesterday turned out to be a real bust and I'm totally exhausted from the whole week. I've got a pinched nerve in my neck that I've had now since Monday that is really pissing me off, and I still haven't heard whether I got that job or not. I do know that I am still a finalist, but no offer has been made yet. So all the stress has gone right to my neck. But at least it's Friday.

Anxiously Awaiting Tomorrow

So tomorrow is CJ's eye surgery at Children's Hospital. To give a little history, he has a misalignment in his eyes that needs corrected (lazy eye). He has had this since birth. It has become more and more pronounced as he became older, and so recently his pediatrician referred us to an ophthamologist. After meeting with the eye doctor, we discovered he has a 25 degree misalignment. The only way to correct this abnormality is through surgery on the eye muscle itself.

Dave and I are both a little nervous, although we feel he is in good hands. This doctor performs this surgery about 10-15 times a week, so that was encouraging news. It's about a 45 minute procedure. And coincidentally, my department manager here at work, who has a son only 1 day younger than CJ, has had eye surgery performed by this same doctor, so he walked me through a lot of what we will expect tomorrow. Unfortunately, his surgery is not until 1 pm, and he cannot eat anything beforehand. Dave is flipping out a little about this, and he called the nurse back at the surgery center, but there was nothing we could do about getting in any earlier. We can only hope everything will run smoothly tomorrow. My SIL is watching Andrew tomorrow, so we'll be able to giving CJ our undivided attention. Dave is running out today while he's at school to get him a new toy to bring with him to the hospital. As far as CJ is concerned, we have prepared him for it by giving him most of the information, although somewhat limited, about what is going to happen, and the only thing he was concerned about was making sure he can play at the "playplace" at the hospital. And get ice cream afterwards. We told him he can get whatever he wants. We have full intentions that it will be a McDonalds/ice cream/popsicle/major toy day as it is.

Supernanny and the SAHD

Listen up, ladies, here's the solution to all your troubles if you're a SAHM. Go out and get a job and have your man stay home with the kids. Problem solved, right? WRONG! At least in the case with last night's episode of "Supernanny". This guy really gave SAHD's a bad name. He was totally hopeless. And the parents admittedly "gave up" on their children. Wait a second, did I hear that right? Gave up? How do you give up? I can relate to being fried from parenting, but certainly I cannot relate to just giving up. How does one do that? Do you say one morning, "Well, I've had enough with parenting now, time to move onto something else. Kids, you're on your own..." They even admitted to when they supposedly gave up -- something like, 2 months ago. And this dad was totally clueless about what he is supposed to do. And get this -- the mom owns a pre-school! Who in their right mind is going to send their kid to a preschool where the owner doesn't even know how to manage her own kids. I would have kept that information to myself if I were her, rather than share that tidbit with the entire country. And her oldest son is the bully of the school. A real terror. He is 7 years old and he's telling the parents to "kiss his ass". So here she is, doing double duty by working full time and then coming home and dealing with the kids. She's just "exhausted" she says, which I would be, too if I had her life. Things were a lot like that at first when Dave became a SAHD -- I felt like I was doing all the work. But we soon found a balancing act and this is how our chores are now divided up:

Dave: Grocery shopping, cooking meals and making the bottles, kids during the day, PT job 20 hrs/week, dishes, and sometimes baths for the kids.

Kate: FT job 40 hrs/week, general housecleaning and bathrooms, clothes shopping/reselling, general organization, bill paying/financial management, and baths for the kids.

BOTH: Car maintenance, house repairs, diaper duty, laundry, and playing with the kids

Somedays I get really stressed out when Dave is working at night since I feel like a single mother, but on the days he is not, we have come to a good understanding of who is in charge of what. This did not happen overnight. Dave and I have been through a lot in our marriage, but after watching last night's episode of these fumbling, clueless people, I feel like a pro. Nothing like an episode of "Supernanny" to make me feel like a great parent who has really nice kids.

Finally....Logic Has Arrived

When the subject of abortion comes up, I have always been pro-choice. I have firmly believed that it is really not my business to tell people what to do with their body, unless it impacts me in some way. It's not my responsibility to guide them morally. We are all born with free choice. Likewise, I am also in favor of assisted suicide if that is what the person wants to do. Again, that person's suicide has no bearing on me whatsoever, so I am in no place to judge them or enforce any morality on them. I've often thought that most of the pro-lifers in this country have a lot of nerve to tell people what to do with their own body. They seem to have violently defended their beliefs, and to me that is seriosuly crossing the line by bombing abortion clinics, etc. They feel it is right to kill another human being to protect the rights of an unborn fetus? Isn't that killing to prove that killing is wrong? But It is way too early on a Monday morning for such deep, nonsensical thought. So anyway, deep, nonsensical thought is not specifically what my soapbox is about today. Today, I heard about a great bill that is being introduced by Congressman Tim Ryan of Ohio. The Legislation is about trying to discourage the increase in abortions. Which is an ingenius tactic against the pro-life conservative. I have been saying for years that pro-lifers seem more concerned with making sure a woman has her baby at full term, rather than actually giving her birth control to discourage her from getting pregnant in the first place, and then when she does get pregnant, they never defend any public programs for taking care of that mother and her baby. I heard a great term this morning on the radio: "Pre-Lifers". Which really more accurately describes the pro-lifers.

So I'm so excited about this legislation. Not because I love abortions. I actually really hate abortions. That's why it was so refreshing to me this morning to hear the news about this legislation. Finally someone is addressing the issue head-on! It's so pro-active. Teaching abstinence to an adolescent 16 year old with raging hormones is not only unrealistic, but is the ultimate pre-cursor to unwanted pregnancy. And not giving public assistance to the mother who you really wanted to have that baby is deplorable. Because while pro-lifers are so busy teaching abstinence in the auditoriums of schools and churches, the teeangers are in the backseats of cars having unprotected sex with no birth control or concern for STDs. If you take the stance that if you don't talk about "it", "it" will go away is insane. And we could go on in circles for days about fighting poverty, providing better education, discouraging pre-marital sex, blah blah blah. There are myraid problems surrounding the moments that lead up to a woman entering the doors of an abortion clinic. The sociological and economical issues are the issues that we can address and work on. But the fact remains that sex is here to stay. We cannot change that. Hormones are genetically ingrained in our systems. We cannot fight them. We are programmed to procreate. I'm alive because of sex. You are alive because of sex. Sex happens. Get over it.

The Skinny on my Chubby Baby

If one more total stranger comes up to me and comments how chubby my baby is, I am going to bite their head off. While Dave was at work yesterday, I chose to ignore the mounting domestic responsibilities around the house, and packed the kids up in the car and took off for some fun at a festival in downtown Columbus. While CJ was bouncing around an inflatable castle, Andrew and I were waiting outside, and this woman comes up to the stroller with a grin and says, "Wow, you are so chubby!" Now some may think this was just someone noticing a cute baby and all, but this woman continued with another comment, "Oh my goodness, he is so chubby, how old is he?" When I told her 8 months, she gave me the deer in the headlights face. She didn't even say anything like, "Oh isn't he cute" or something like that, which is what most people usually say. Then I instinctly felt like I should defend myself, as to make sure she knew I wasn't stuffing his bottles full of McDonald's french fries or something. "Yes, well, his brother was very big, too and didn't start thinning out until he was about 2 years old..." She nodded her head and we parted ways. She was some way-too-skinny bitch who probably starves herself and her children to "look good". And her sunglasses were way too Nicole Richie for this town, for pete's sake.

But anyway, I thought about it later and got really mad at myself. Why did I feel like I needed to give an explanation to this total stranger about the weight history of my children? And better yet, why did she feel she has the right to comment on his weight at all? Do parents of skinny babies have total strangers coming up to them and stating, "Wow, what a skinny baby you have!"? Before everyone thinks I gave birth to 2 ten pounders, I didn't. CJ was 6 lbs 14 ounces, and Andrew was 7 lbs 3 ounces. Both healthy babies and healthy sizes. The fact that both of them gained weight really quickly as babies was really nothing that either myself or Dave seemed to have control over. It puzzled the doctors how breastfed babies could gain so much, but what can I tell you? It is what it is. And now, CJ is hardly an overweight kid. In fact, we see his ribs when he arches his stomach, and to him eating is an overwhelming inconvenience that just interrupts his playtime. It's close to impossible to get him to sit down for dinner.

At his last check up at 6 months, Andrew was 19.5 pounds. I would assume just by holding him, and the rate at which he gains, that he's hovering around the 22 pound range. This stuff is in their genes -- their dad is no shrimp. Dave is 6'3", and he is the shortest between his father and his brother. My boys are just following suit. It's no surprise. But I think it's rude and condescending for a total stranger to comment how big or little a baby is. Andrew hardly has much control over how much weight he gains, so word to the wise for the next person that walks up to me and comments on my baby. If you don't say he's cute, than say nothing at all.

Beep...Beep...Beep...Back up the dessert truck

Funny picture my friend at work just emailed me that he took on his camera phone at our last team lunch. Notice my delight when the waiter dropped in front of me my order of cake. Trust me, it did say "a slice of chocolate cake" on the menu, not the entire right side! (And I ate half of it in case anyone is wondering...)

Time to Exhale

OK, so I finished up my 7th and final interview for this job at 5:30 yesterday. I went home, had a big glass of wine, and vowed to remain cautiously optimistic. I don't want to get myself too excited and then suffer the big letdown, but it is hard to contain my excitement. Now it's a waiting game for the phone to ring. I just want to know either way at this point whether I got it or not so I can move on if I have to. It will KILL me to have to wait the weekend for an answer, but that just may be the case. Every toe and finger on my body is crossed.

Onto other news of note, Andrew's been a real fussbudget from teething. Didn't sleep well last night. When will these freaking teeth come in already?? It seems like this poor kid has been teething for months and still no teeth. He hasn't really shown any interest in crawling yet either. He turned 8 months on 9/6, and seems just pretty content to sit up and play with his toys. I could get into the comparison game and start pinning him against all the other babies that I know around his age and what they are doing, but I'm not going to. There's no benefit to that game. He's a big kid and I'm chalking up his lack of mobility to the fact that he's in the 100th percentile for his age and he just doesn't have the muscle strength to move himself very well. We have his 9 month check up next month, so we'll see what they say then. I have a picture of CJ starting to stand up with the help of furniture in July of '02 (which would have made him about 9 months old), but again, I'm trying not to get into the game of pinning him against any other baby, even his own brother. I know all kids develop at their own pace. I was just thinking about it all lately, and wondered if I should be concerned.

Other than that, TGIF.

Question of the Day -- Do Girls Rule?

OK, what is up with the fact that girls always seem to be able to potty train quicker than boys?? I was talking to a colleague here at work whose 2 year old daughter, yes I said 2 YEAR OLD, has been potty trained for months. And I said months. He said that once they started to get her on the potty, she took to it right away, had a couple accidents, and thereafter despised to be wet and has used the potty ever since. Evertime I hear about a girl using the potty before the age of 2, I can't help but wonder if that is a good quality or not. I can't decide anymore whether girls totally rule or whether we are completely fucked up. Are we such intelligent masters of our universe or are we such people pleasers that we completely do everything the world wants of us?

Sweating It Out

So after 36 hours straight of trying to find the right outfit from just about every store in the Mall for the interview I had on Monday, I would have to say I looked great in my black pant suit and I did the best I know how. I made it up to Michigan in record time since I was full of anxiety, and met with 3 separate people after a delicious lunch at an Italian place next to the office. I hardly ate any of my food because my stomach could hardly take it, though. I got along really well personally with everyone I met with, and they were really impressed with my work experience which they think is a close fit to what they are looking for. And get this -- talk about a small world, the hiring manager had her first baby on the SAME DAY as me - Oct 4, 2001! Can anyone say, Destiny?

I also found out I am one of three candidates. I was physically and mentally exhausted when I returned home that evening at 11:30 pm. Dave ended up driving to Toledo for the day with his sister and the kids, to see their mother and other sister who lives there. They spent the day together while I traveled myself in the rental car. I was really glad that it worked out that way, and that Dave was able to recognize my need to have some peace and quiet in the car for the ride up there. I met up with everyone in Toledo afterwards and we went out to eat at Applebee's to celebrate his Toledo sister's brithday.

Yesterday I had an additional phone interview with another woman on the team who wasn't there on Monday because she works from home on that day. It's a really mom friendly place as most of them are working mothers with small children, which was refreshing to know, and not to mention, I would fit right in as far as that is concerned.

So it is now Wednesday... this morning I arrive at work, and that lovely, big red light is shining brightly on my phone. I have a message!! Could it be from the hiring manager? The HR recruiter to tell me, "Hey, we're giving you gobs of money for this position, so would you like to accept an offer??" Well, it is the hiring manager that I met with in Michigan to tell me that I am now one of the final 2 candidates, and that I will be interviewing with another 2 people tomorrow here in Columbus, including the Managing Director of the department. Holy crap! This is the most intense interview process I have ever been involved with. I'm really trying to contain my excitement here because I just know how empty and disappointed I will be if:

A. they low-ball me with the money and I have the refuse the offer
B. I just DON'T get the job
C. I have to keep looking for another job after going through these grueling series of meetings.

I mention the fear of the "low-ball" on the salary, because I'm concerned about the realistic possibility that, without my long history here with the company, they may feel they can come in at a lower salary than if I were "off-the-street". Which is what happens all the time. (See my post from last month on what I told one of the recruiters here) The fact that if I get this job means that Dave will have to quit his PT night/weekend job, makes the salary negotiation a huge deal maker or breaker. So that being said, I am at the very least proud of myself that I made it this far. I have one more person to beat in this competition for the prize, and I really hope this all works out. It's kind of one of those "life changing forks in the road" that if I'm lucky enough to have the offer in front of me to choose, it will take my career in a whole new direction. Having had 4 miscarriages in my life, I'm a little jaded as far as getting excited about something until the prize has actually been won. But this one, it seems so close and within my reach, I can't help but be pumped up.

Delayed Thoughts on 9/11

I was off in job interview-land all day yesterday in Michigan, so I missed most of the 9/11 anniversary coverage yesterday, but I would have to say that I am glad I did, since it seems our government used it as a way to propagandize the war, instead of really honoring the people who were killed. But I'll get to that later. Everyone in the blogosphere seems to be commenting on what they were doing on 9/11 5 years ago, so I feel a need to add my 2 cents.

I was 3 weeks from the due date of our first son. Dave and I were living in Los Angeles at the time, and my mother, who lives in NJ, phoned me a little before 6am to tell me that a plane had collided with the WTC. Before the second plane hit, no one quite knew whether this was an act of terrorism or a terrible accident. I figured a Cessna hit the towers or something. I turned on the Today Show to see, moments later, the second tower being hit by a second plane. My husband and I continued to watch in horror as the day's events began to unfold. Our beloved city we had just left 2 years ago was being attacked. Thankfully, none of our former co-workers or friends were downtown at the time. Most were in mid-town.
As the day progressed, I had to relay the events that were being shown on live TV for my mother, because the WTC had an antenna that supplied reception to a large portion of the tri-state area. I think NBC was the only one left with footage (hence the Today Show) because their antennas are on top of Rockefeller Center. And we were also listeneing to the Howard Stern show which was our routine before he went to Sirius, and could listen to the events happening in the city. We were extremely thankful that we were no longer living in NYC, as I knew, based on my work schedule and how I got to work, I would have been walking up 5th avenue, near the Empire State Building at the time the chaos began.

My mother didn't need anybody to tell her though what was happening, though, since she could see and smell the black smoke bellowing from the NYC skyline which can be seen from the Jersey Shore where she lives. The whole event was completely surreal, as we all know, and as another blogger wrote, we will remember where we were the day of 9/11 like prior generations remember where they were the day JFK was shot. Being 10 months pregnant at the time, I couldn't help but feel reticent about what kind of world I was bringing this baby into at the time. We were also personally going through a terrible time financially and emotionally, as Dave was out of work. Weeks later I spoke with a friend's sister whose husband worked across the street from the WTC, and he witnessed people jumping from the building. He was currently suffering from nightmares when I spoke to her, and was under an extreme amount of anxiety.

So here we are, 5 years later, and really not much to show for it. There is still a gaping wound in the NYC skyline that has yet to be repaired. It really truly disgusts me that people visit the site like it's a tourist destination and pose for family pictures. This is a mass grave. This is hallowed ground and people are taking family snapshots? Do people pose like that at Arlington Cemetery? Because that is really the same kind of place. The Twin Towers were a part of all my memories of NYC growing up since it was erected in the 70s. I didn't remember it NOT being there, since I was born in 1971. We were recently in NYC for vacation and I had no desire to go downtown to "ground zero". As far as I'm concerned, I didn't lose someone I love that day, so it's really not my business to go down there and grieve. So many people jump on the grieving bandwagon.

So here we are today, 5 years later: we are at war with the wrong people. I don't know the exact numbers, but I believe 2,500+ people died on 9/11 from the attacks. More people are dying everyday from the pollutants they were exposed to, and another 2,000+ soldiers have died now in Iraq. The goddam nerve of our President to politicize this anniversary! We should have done nothing but pray and commemorate the loss of those who were killed. Not use it as a vehicle to sell us the war, for God's sake.

So that's my 2 cents. Take it or leave it.

TGIF

Yawn. I am really dragging today. Andrew had us up until about 4 am last night with gas. He hasn't dealt with that in months, but I think I know what caused it. Word to the wise: do not feed a baby brown rice. I just learned that the hard way last night. The only way I could get the poor bugger to sleep was by lying him on my chest. Just like he slept as a newborn. I think I'm running on some reserves right now, so I'm fulling expecting to totally crash tonight. I hope I can stay up late enough to watch 2 of my favorite shows: The Soup and The Chelsea Handler Show. May have to break out the wine again to re-charge me. Looks like one more week for Best Week Ever. Also counting down the days to Lost. The best show on TV. Are they not showing any of the re-runs before the season premiere? Is it obvious I watch too much TV? What can I say, wine and TV is cheap entertainment these days since I can't afford a babysitter.

Barney Logic from the SAHD

My husband just called me at work to tell me about the lesson learned on today's show from our beloved purple dinosaur, Barney, from which he feels I would benefit: "Be careful means I love you."

Supposedly, I need some enlightenment on this subject with regard to my trip to Michigan for the interview. For those of you keeping up, you'll know that he's been harping on me about the dangers of driving such a long distance in one day. So the fact that he's packing the kids up and coming with me to share in the driving duties illustrates that "he loves me", according to Barney logic of course. Or wait, Dave's logic. Am I the only one that thinks my husband has serious communication issues here? Or is he just watching too much pre-school tv?

My Music Obsession

An oldie but goodie CD that I'm obsessed with this week. Found it in D's extensive CD collection that I never even realized we owned. I love their other, more recent CD, 100th Window, and this is almost better. Group: Massive Attack. Title: Mezzanine. A trip-hop, late nineties collection of groovy, mellow techno tunes destined to give your mood a transcendental boost.

The Token Heterosexual and My Wise 4 Year Old Son

I have a good friend at work who is gay. Him and his partner, J, have a 2 year old son. Today we went to his 2nd birthday party. He is ALL of 2 and everything is "mine, mine, mine!" Understandable for us adults, but not for CJ, who often asks me, "Why is B acting like that?" But that's not the wise part. I will get to that.

Anyway, as usual, we were the token hetero people with the exception of R's parents and his aunts. Andrew was the center of attention among all the lesbos and gays who either had children of their own running around or desperately wanted a child. He did very well being passed around the crowd from person to person.

When we get invited to their parties, it's a chance to see life from the other side - to be part of the world as a minority. The lesbians are staring at my boobs, the guys are checking out D, and I try my best to mingle with the partiers who are not striking up any conversations with me at all except to compliment me on what a cute baby I have (D had to work today, so he wasn't at this one). It's like this everytime R & J have a get together that we are invivted to. And I understand it's vice-versa for them: the first time D's mom met R, she asked him, "Where's your wife?" And to make things more confusing for her, they are white and their adopted son is black. What's an 80 year old woman from Toledo to think?

One thing I find interesting is that in the 3 years I have been friends with R, CJ has not asked me once, "Where is his wife?" Which is such a perfect representation of how at first we are so forgiving, so unaware of stereotypes and standards, that he is completely oblivious to the fact that this is a unique situation. Too bad we all can't look at the world like a 4 year old. I myself am a guilty party, too. Maybe I could learn something from CJ once in a while.

When In Rome...

ohiostatestadium
Originally uploaded by katebunge.

Do as the Romans do. Or here in Columbus, do as the Buckeye fans do.
And root for OSU. Today was opening day for college football, and the
fan base here in Columbus for this football team goes to extreme levels.
The whole town is decked out in scarlet and grey. Not a native Ohioan, I
find this level of devotion for a college football team teetering on the edge of
insanity. I knew it was a popular team prior to moving to here, having been
aware of their victories, however I wasn't aware of the level of worship
these residents have for a group of college kids whose heads have swelled
to the size of watermelons, thanks to generous media coverage, both
broadcast and print.

Needless to say, as I was trying to clean my house while I had a teething
baby crying, a 4 year old complaining about the rain, there was the game
on in the background. So, I'm trying to fit in. I really am. But I can't tell you
who won the game.

Breaking News... Wine Cures Whine

CraneLake
Originally uploaded by katebunge.

An Ohio mother reports that, during a long week of whining about work,
bills, and the general malady of motherhood, a swift intake of a 750ml of
Chardonnay has cured all ailments. Though functioning a little slow this
morning, she reports, "I usually run to the bottle when life has me down,
and last night, it did the trick again."

Vacationing from work today, she adds, "Nothing works like a big bottle
of cheap wine."