Friday, January 26, 2007

Flying 101

The letter below was written while in mid-air:

To the Dude in Front of Me on the Plane:

Even though they offer a reclining position in an airplane seat, it doesn’t mean you have to exercise your right to use it. Due to the fact we are traveling on an express jet, there is little room on this aircraft to spread out and read your hardcover book. Have some sympathy for your fellow passenger sitting behind you who hasn’t had a minute to herself in 2 weeks, and has to write her blog post “offline”, and while writing said post almost got her laptop crushed as you reclined your seat without warning. And now your stinky leather jacket is starting to invade my space, too. So here’s a bright idea next time you travel: this is NOT your living room. And you are so goddam comfy that it was probably you who just farted. Lovely. I think I’m going to barf.

From, the passenger you obviously do not care 2 shits about


These past 2 weeks I’ve been in 2 different cities, and the following 2 weeks, I will be in another 2 cities, so I’m half way through the training programs we are hosting. I arrived and departed from the Lone Star State without incident. So for those keeping track, as I mentioned in my last post, I had to board an aircraft for the first time in almost 5 years and I wasn't feeling very confident about it. I’m OK now, and I didn’t die in a fiery crash. And since I hadn’t posted in almost 2 weeks, I’m sure some of you were thinking I had been a goner. Alas, I m back to bore you with the tales of my life.

So, in addition to having a terrible chest cold, it wasn’t the best birthday present I had received, since I turned 36 on Monday. I am knee deep in the programs we are hosting, so there was little fanfare for my birthday, although my boss arranged a very nice dinner for me when we arrived in Texas. It was very, very thoughtful, and reminded me how I truly work with a great bunch of people.

As for air travel, I haven’t missed it in the 5 years I’ve avoided it. Although there are a couple things that have changed since my last flight:

Kiosks for check-in. These are by far one of the best inventions of the 21st century.

De-Shoeing. OK, this was a first. And not a pleasant one, as I don’t enjoy walking in my socks on a dirty airport floor.

Liquid limitations. A bummer since I packed an 8 ounce can of aerosol hair spray that was promptly confiscated for its apparent terroristic qualities.

I still don’t enjoy take-offs and landings. Enough said.

As for life outside of blogging for these past 2 weeks, it’s been a whirlwind of traveling, 15 hour workdays, and nights full of missing my sweet boys. I promise to catch up on all the worthy reading of my favorite bloggers. I miss you guys!! Work and life have been rather overwhelming lately so there has been hardly a moment to write. The stress level is pretty high. I could use a few stress relieving suggestions, so please, indulge me with your comments before I totally lose it.


Anonymous L.A. Daddy said...

I'm a rather large individual - at 6'3", it's hard enough for me to sit in an airplane seat AND fit my legs in.

Pity the poor person who sits in front of me on the plane - whenever they try to recline their seat they usually get bounced right back up. There's hardly enough room for me, much less for them to come back.

I usually hear a sigh or a humph from the general direction ahead of me and it always makes me smile. h

5:49 PM

Blogger Kathy McC said...

Well, I'd offer up shooting the passenger in this post, but it's probably too late, and you'd end up in jail.

In lieu of anything illegal, I'd see if you can buy yourself some wine and cram yourself into the bathtub of whatever hotel you're in, and try to shut out the world.

Good luck!

6:00 PM

Blogger Day said...

I hate the smell of leather coats.

My best stress relief tip is to think about the time or day you will be done with this training and at home again. There is an end, and most likely you have endured longer and harder things.

Oh, and ten deep breaths is a close second.

9:35 PM

Blogger Mayberry said...

Glad you're home, and happy belated birthday! For de-stressing, how about the controlled substance of your choice, whether it's alcohol, chocolate, or pizza? Yeah, I'm all for the comfort eating.

10:02 PM

Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

De-shoeing is a major pain in the ass. And as for general stress relief? Liquor, and hot baths. Best that I've come up with, short of a tropical holiday.

9:55 AM

Blogger Christina said...

Ugh. On a flight back from BlogHer, the guy in front of me reclined his seat so far back I nearly offered to check his dental work for him.

As for stress relief - there is a wonderful place called The Spa School on High St., just south of Worthington, across from Graceland Shopping Center. You can get massages and facials there for practically nothing (Like $30 for an hour massage, $25 for a facial). Maybe we should make a Saturday afternoon of it sometime?

1:46 PM

Blogger soccer mom in denial said...

WELCOME BACK and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Phew did I miss the pillow. Glad you are halfway through. I'm pretty tall too and usually pull an l.a. dad by ramming my knees into the other passengers chair. That or I grab the top of the chair - alot - and when he/she glares at me I smile sweetly and say "Why it is so HARD for me to be comfortable with you leaning SO FAR BACK (big fake smile)." That usually gets them to move up somewhat. And I get recognition nods from other passengers.

To de-stress? Read a trashy magazine with liquor. People and g&t for me!!

3:34 PM

Blogger Karla said...

I'm so behind!
Welcome home!
Happy b-lated Birthday!

2:53 PM


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