The Revolving Door of Motherhood

I admit wholeheartedly that I had a very hard time adjusting to motherhood. Hell, I'm still adjusting and I'm toting around a full-fledged toddler with another one on the way.

I have always loved children, but it's easy to love kids when they go home with someone else at the end of the day. But when you have your own, it opens up a regular Pandora's box full of issues that never ONCE crossed your mind. Vaccinations? Illnesses? Poop? Babysitters?Circumcision? Potty Training? The list goes on. But for me, the hardest part so far has been dealing with the constant changes that occur within my daughter and disrupt common order and peace-harmony-love in my household.

It's life twisted game. Once they finally conquer a milestone, another one waits on the other side. And it's always worse. Like "yay, she's sleeping through the night but now she won't eat a damn thing."

Argh.

It is only now that I feel any level of comfort when it comes to the major areas of my child's life, and even so, things continue to change even faster than I can comprehend. The only difference is that I can't blame those things on teething.

Just when you get to a point where she's sleeping, eating, pooping, and playing in some type of regular pattern, something else goes totally South.

Let's face it. Routine and predictability breed comfort and comfort breeds happiness. Change can be scary for even the most adventurous of folks. Moving to a new place, taking a new job, and even eating at a new restaurant can wreak havoc amongst even the most sane of adults. So, when I became a mother and realized that my daughter would sleep through the night for 2
weeks, and then she would be teething and back I was, sleeping in the rocking chair with her attached to my boob, I freaked out. Or when she would be eating anything and everything until another tooth would cut, and back I was, feeding her frozen peas and grapes, I would
cry.

Louder than she ever could.

I was so attached to my little achievements -- those little moments of sanity and order -- that when they were turned upside down on a very frequent basis, I was up in arms, pulling my hair out, and wondering why the hell I was given a child.

I'd read 14 baby books, engage in way too many Google searches, and sit for hours on the message boards hoping someone would have the answer.

But no one ever did.

I finally realized that I'm dealing with a rapidly growing little human who is learning new and exciting skills each day. And no book or Google search can take away the change and disorder that comes with having a kid.

So, I rejoice in those little moments of restfulness and ease that come my way, and then try to remember, when they are seemingly erased in a matter of minutes, that the door of motherhood is always revolving. And while that may be a pain in my ass right now at least I know it's
moving and it won't be stopped in the land of tantrum-sassy-time-out-nap-fighting for long. And, I'll be able to walk through that door again to see what adventures (hopefully independent poops in the potty) lie on the other side.

*Kristen is a stay-at-home-mother to a toddler and another one on the way. She's currently trying to maintain her sanity while living at her in-laws. Yes. It's pretty bad. Come visit Kate there today. And stay for the craziness. Click here to learn more about The Blog Exchange.*