Monday, May 21, 2007

The Next Chapter

The progress with our move is picking up. With this being my 7th move in 10 years, I’m hoping we will remain settled for quite some time. Moving in itself is not only a stressful period, what with all the organization and packing of boxes, and physical labor, but it’s an emotionally challenging time. With every move, a cornucopia of emotions gets emptied. It seems as each chapter gets completed, another component to the sum of our lives gets added, and I can’t help but reflect on where I’ve been. If any one of you readers knew the kind of financial state my husband and I were in just 4 years ago, you would truly understand the breadth of my words. In 2003, we were living in New Jersey, in an upstairs duplex apartment in a house so riddled with fire code hazards it’s amazing we got out alive. And we lived there with CJ, as a baby. I was working at a retail store making $12/hour, then coming home at nights and running a side business of designing custom invitations and announcements. Dave could not find consistent work anymore as a commercial producer, and was providing no income. We paid $900 a month for rent and drove a 2 door 1993 Chevy Cavalier, that we had to pay $600 a year to insure. We had just declared bankruptcy the year before. So the failure was now etched into public records for all to see. We were just on the heels of having lived at my mother’s condo for 8 months after having to move back home with our tail between our legs carrying a newborn, because of our failed attempt at a business in Los Angeles, where I gave birth to CJ. I was hardly on speaking terms with my mother anymore. Life was very bleak. All I can say is that it’s a good thing kids don’t develop a memory until about the age of 3. And I knew he’d be starting to become aware of his surroundings soon, however I had no idea what we were going to do.

Personal failure is a horrible thing to overcome. At the brink of the possible mental breakdown of both me and my husband, or the possible divorce, we reached out to Dave’s family for assistance. We had tapped out my mother, who, as I mentioned, I was hardly speaking to, and we were both emotionally drained. When Dave’s sister proposed the bright idea of moving to Ohio, it was not exactly a notion I met with enthusiasm. It was yet another move, and I was growing tired of running. I wasn’t quite sure how Ohio was going to answer all of our problems, but it did provide some stability and a cheaper way of life.

After 4 years of building ourselves back, I must boast how proud I am our accomplishments. When we moved here I worked yet again at another $12/hour job, while he worked nights at a $9/hr job. We had a nicer apartment because housing is cheaper, and we had emotional assistance from family members geographically close. Life slowly turned for the better, with raises, better jobs and constant persistence at improvement. And now another baby later, time is moving at the same pace as it always does, but the state in which we were living when we first pulled into town seems like decades ago. And yes, the purchase of the house will present its own set of financial challenges for us since it’s stretching our budget, but we will own a house. For so many years, I feel like I’ve been living outside of a bubble as I watch the rest of the world buy houses, buy cars, go on vacations, and invest in their retirements while I’ve been a static bystander. There’s something that validates your maturity when you do things like get married, have a baby and buy a house. It thrusts you into adulthood.

So why am I bringing all this up? Well, this Friday we close on the house. I haven’t had much time for blogging which is obvious by the fact that I haven’t posted anything in over a week, and will have to bring blogging to a close for a little while as I settle into the next chapter of my life as a homeowner. So the pillow will be on hiatus for a few weeks. Just wanted to make sure nobody thought I got wiped out by a city bus or something like that. I’ll document the move with pictures and share when I return. Take care!


Blogger Christina said...

Hooray for closing on the house this week!

Were I in any condition, I'd offer to help with the move, but a pregnant or recently post-partum woman isn't exactly helpful when it comes to moving.

Hope everything goes smoothly, and let us know when you're settled. Will you be having a housewarming party?

2:58 PM

Blogger Day said...

Good luck with the move and I am so happy life has turned around and things are looking up.

8:21 PM

Blogger Heather said...

It's nice to read some optimism in the midst of the emotions of the past. Things are looking up for you. Hope your move goes smoothly and you come back here with more good news!

8:34 PM

Anonymous mayberry said...

Wow, that is an amazing journey! Here's to the next step. See you when you're a homeowner!

10:22 AM

Blogger soccer mom in denial said...

O.k. can I be totally selfish for a moment - YOU CAN'T TAKE A BREAK FOR WEEKS!! WEEKS?!?!


For nearly everyone else I write it is so wonderful you are taking time off, don't feel obliged to blog, etc. etc. etc. I don't mean it for you. Because I MISS YOU!!

O.k. I've gotten that off my chest and now after reading this I just adore you. You are strong, funny and just the friend I want to have. When are you coming over for coffee?

After the move, I know. Good luck. Oh, and of course, blog when you want. Just know I'll be waiting.

8:53 PM

Blogger Alex Elliot said...

That is an amazing story! Congratulations on your house! Good luck with your move. I look forward to reading your posts when you're back blogging. You're one of my favorite bloggers.

9:51 PM

Blogger karla said...

It's funny, but everything always feels so much sweeter when you know how far you had to come to get there.

Congratulations on everything Kate. I'm looking forward to watching your family grow and thrive in your new home!

1:00 PM

Anonymous L.A. Daddy said...

Hope the move goes well! And from what it sounds like... you're not turning a corner so much as taking off like a rocket. Enjoy it and smile that you're not back in Jersey. Nobody should ever have to be in Jersey. Ever. For any reason...

5:46 PM


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