Wednesday, April 11, 2007


The picture at left is one of my favorite pictures of my baby, Andrew. My little bugger. My sweetykins. My babycakes. It was taken last summer, when he was still a rolly polly 7 month old. Currently, he is 15 months old. And much leaner and much more active and talkative.

When I first learned I was pregnant with Andrew it was hard to believe I was capable of loving another human being as much as I love my first born, CJ. As I’ve written before, my relationship with CJ is still different, but during a recent conversation with my mother on the topic, she explained to me that there is no lesser love you have for your second, it’s just you’ve had a longer relationship with your first, so it feels different. And perhaps that is true. Because when we’re alone, and I can devote all my attention to him, my heart melts with joy and love that once before I never knew could happen before he was born. I’m an old pro with him, and he has not had to suffer through the bumblings of early motherhood that CJ has since weathered so well. You know, your first is always your “practice baby”, right? I think that’s what I might have meant when I said in my other post about my relationship with CJ as being so much more “raw”. Things have been swifter with Andrew, and that has nothing to do with the level of relationship, but with the fact that I actually knew what I was doing and life is much easier now than it was 5 years ago for me and my husband.

Andrew seems much less the people pleaser type than CJ, too. In fact, he is still not walking, and when you hold him up to make him try, he looks up and laughs at you as if to say, “You want me to do what? Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Physically there is nothing wrong with his legs, which has been confirmed by his pediatrician. And he never crawled either. He “scoots” around on his tush. He moves around quite fast, and it amazes me that he has developed this alternative method of movement, since I had never seen a baby do that before. My baby’s a genius, you know.

(Hehe. Just kidding….sort of.)

So this post is about Andrew today, my happy go lucky, doing-it-my-way, daredevil-type that we lovingly refer to as Bam-Bam, because tomorrow he will have to endure something that as parents, you never want to see your kid go through. I’ve hesitated blogging about this because it’s not like I need the whole world to be privy to the personal information of my boys, but he was born with a hypospadia at birth and tomorrow is the surgery to correct it. He does not have the severe form of the condition, although it must be corrected, as it is more than just a cosmetic issue. It’s a 2 hour procedure that will take place at the hospital. When he was born, I went through the standard grieving period during which time I scoured my brain for all possible reasons he could have been born this way, and what did I do to him while he was in utero, etc.? After being assured by his doctor that this is not as traumatic as it could be, we went on with our lives and began to wait until the time when his little body would be ready to handle the surgery, as well as the recovery period. And so tomorrow, at 15 months, his little body is ready, whether he knows it or not. I decided to blog about this because I do not know anyone in my offline world that has any experience with this. Does anyone in the blogosphere care to share any experiences relating to this condition that you know of either indirectly or directly?

There could be worse things wrong with your child, I’m aware of that. I’ve always been thankful to have given birth to 2 healthy boys. It’s just dawned on me today that this day is now upon us, after which we’ve done an excellent job these past several weeks of forgetting about the day growing near during all this house hunting. And when Andrew was first born, we knew any impending surgery was far into the future. And so the future is now. I don’t know what to expect during the recovery period other than what the Doctor has prepared us for. Wish him luck.


Blogger ECR said...

I hope your son's surgery goes well and that his recovery is a smooth one.

My biggest shock when I became a parent was learning that NOTHING is ever far into the future. It took me by complete surprise.

5:23 PM

Anonymous L.A. Daddy said...

Good luck, Andrew! And be strong, Kate! That's what he needs!

6:36 PM

Blogger Christina said...

Is he having the surgery at Children's tomorrow? At least you know you've got a great team of doctors, and he'll be in good hands.

I have no experience with the condition, but it looks like the chances of side-effects are pretty minor, so he should come through the surgery just fine. I'll be thinking of him!

(And Cordy didn't walk until she was 15 months, either. She simply wasn't motivated.)

7:20 PM

Blogger Mrs. Chicky said...

All my good thoughts to you and your beautiful boy. Good luck on surgery day!

7:20 PM

Blogger Kathy McC said...

I'll be thinking of you and Andrew tomorrow and hoping for the best! I don't know a whole lot about the condition, but I know you're doing the right thing.


8:28 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lots of good luck and big hugs headed your way!!
Like Christina mentioned, if you are at Children's.. we have only FABULOUS things to say about them! Grant had tummy surgery there when he was 8 weeks old, and then was squaded there after a febrile seizure.
So professional and kid centered!

10:13 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

forgot to add..
Grant didn't walk until he was about 16 months old. He just didn't care AT ALL. He knew that if he wanted something...
a. sympathetic mommy would bring it
b. or it wasn't that important anyway.

10:18 PM

Blogger soccer mom in denial said...

Hug, hug, hug.

I don't have any experience with that. My sons spent 8 weeks in the NICU because they were 10 weeks premature. I do know that helpless feeling of handing my kids off to the "experts" and watching them be taken away.

But he'll be back and you will all be fine. Please know there are many of us sending you e-hugs.

11:07 PM

Blogger Heather said...

I don't have personal experience with it, but I worked with a woman (who I was pretty close friends with) whose nephew had it. He had the surgery and is now, oh, 8 years old. It all went fine.

My son had ear tubes inserted at 10 months. Not really on the same level, but surgery is still surgery, and when it's your baby going under anesthesia and the knife, it doesn't really matter what the gravity of the surgery is. It's still hard.

Luckily it's usually harder on the parents when the kids are so young.


11:29 PM

Blogger Kate said...

Thanks everyone! You are truly all great friends!

We're heading off for Children's Hospital soon. Andrew slept well last night and just had his final bottle of some apple juice (not allowed milk).

6:01 AM

Blogger Alex Elliot said...

Good luck! Two different friends of mine have sons that had hypospadia. Both had surgery and are doing well. They're 6 and 9.

9:47 PM

Blogger creative-type dad said...

Good luck!!

I I just learned a few weeks ago - anything that involves kids and doctors is always harder on the parents.

11:26 AM

Anonymous binkytown said...

I am wishing that little cutie a speedy recovery. And for his mama to go easy on herself the next few days. Sending good vibes.

4:26 PM


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