The Have-Nots

After this post, remind me how much I have to be thankful for, because after you’ve spent time with my Aunt Sue you will wonder if everybody in the world outside of her kids is living at poverty level. I say this because at almost every family occasion, she finds a way to weave her children’s annual compensation into the conversation. And apparently now, the anticipated boob job on her 17 year old granddaughter.

I decided to take a road trip to the Baby Shower that I had a week’s notice on, and take Andrew with me. CJ and Dave spent a Dad’s day together, and it also gave CJ the chance to build his next humungous track in the middle of our living room, which, under normal circumstances gets trashed by Andrew and throws CJ into a meltdown. So having the house to himself, he was in track-building Heaven.

So while at the Shower, as the guests were mingling, the conversation began with what Sydney was going to receive on her 18th birthday. Commenting that she has nothing up top now, “she will have something by her 18th birthday, because that’s her birthday gift!” OK, I could name about a thousand other things I would want other than a boob job. But then again, I’m a C cup, so I’ve never complained in that department. But really, a boob job for an 18 year old? C’mon!

Then the conversation moved from the boob job to how her recent vacation to Mexico was a gift from Angie (her daughter and mother of said boob job recipient). And that Angie wants to put her 3,500 square foot house on the market March 1st because it just isn’t big enough and really wants a 5 bedroom house that’s bigger. Well she can afford it because she makes $150,000 a year and her husband Jon makes $280,000 a year, so hell, what’s stopping them at a 5 bedroom house, right?!? I mean people of these means should be forbidden to have to live in such tight quarters don’t you think? They have 3 children and a cat for pete’s sake…. (Insert eye rolling here). Personally, there’s nothing I hate worse than a line of McMansions dotting the landscape of what once was beautiful farmland. But that’s just me. Worried about over consumption. Silly me.

And have you visited Todd’s house in North Carolina yet?? It’s a half million bucks, people! And it’s in the same neighborhood as all of the professional baseball players, too! (Insert gag reflex here).

Did she ask me about my job? Yes. Here’s how the conversation went…

Sue: “Katie, how do you like your job?”

And just when you think you have something important to share….

Me: “I love my job! I just got back from doing a lot of traveling, but things are getting back to normal now.”

She tops it with something like this…

Sue: “Well Angie’s company is sending her to Europe in the Spring…”

Of course, there’s always the other cousins of mine in Southeast Ohio who make us all look good. Specifically, the ones who go to the hospital for domestic violence, have an ex-husband break into their home with a loaded rifle, have a husband go to jail for assault, a cousin who ended up in jail for murder, or another one who consecutively gets pregnant out of wedlock with different men. Oh, how I have a clan of a family! Anybody else have some unique family members?