My Obsession with Six Feet Under, Life and Death

So D & I are watching the final season on DVD of what I think is the most well written, well acted, humanly touching television series ever created: Six Feet Under. I was crying my eyes out last night watching the 2nd to last episode because of what happened to the main character. We plan on watching the last episode tonight. We don't have HBO, so I always watched the series on DVD when they release it.

As for why I am dedicating an entire post to it, I guess I relate to its quirky nature, as I have always been fascinated by the concept of life and death and what, if anything, happens to us and our souls. The daily routine of motherhood, work, and marriage leaves me little time to ponder the greater meaning of our existence, and it's the kind of show that requires you to stop and think. I always feel compelled to hug my children after watching this show, knowing how fleeting these moments of innocence are. Sometimes I long for my adolescence when I had literally days to ponder the meaning of life, or making out plans on what I wanted to be when I grew up: to explore the world through the camera lens to indulge my passion for photography and help people in third world countries through altruistic organizations. Believe it or not, I truly had those type of idealist goals. I need to discover that part of me again. Even though I realize those feelings were largely in part of my hormonal changes, I think there's still that person in there who wants to know answers and to challenge the world. And my time is ticking away. When will I find her again? And how do I go about doing that?