Monday, August 07, 2006

Going, Going, Gone.

So after I calmed down from my rage about the Republicans sabotaging the Minimum Wage bill, I went home after work on Friday, rushed around with the kids, collected my thoughts, had a glass of wine, and completed my last day of pumping. It took me a while to come to that decision, but after slowly decreasing my pumping to once a day over the past week, my output dramatically decreased as well, and as of Friday, I pumped out only an ounce. I was troubled and emotional about making this decision, however, I am extremely happy and proud of myself with how well my breastfeeding experience went this time around. My first attempt at breastfeeding with C 4 years ago was a complete disaster, which led to me breastfeeding only 1 week and then pumping for about 2 months. So it didn't go AT ALL how I had planned and it was MUCH more difficult than I anticipated. Not to mention D & I were stuck in L.A., out of work with a newborn, with the country in shock fresh on the heels of the 9/11 attacks. No employment to be found. But anyway, I am sure the stress contributed to it, but I vowed that I would make a better effort this time around and make the best of it. Which is what I did. I became the kind of breastfeeding mom that I wanted to be: I put A to my breast minutes after his birth, and I bit my lip through the sore nipples and pumped some until they healed and then got right back in the saddle (which is what I didn't do with C). I also fed him everywhere and in front of everybody. I really wasn't shy about it. I recall when he was about 6 weeks old, I brought him and C to the Franklin County Conservatory and we had just gotten there when A needed to be fed. I was not going to trek the mile back to the car on that freezing February day, and the ladies room did not have a lounge (which I couldn't believe!). The only place to land myself was on sofa chairs right in front of the elevator! So I had no choice but to whip it out, in front of gawking conservatory visitors, not expecting to be greeted by a boob on the way to the atrium. But hey, the kid had to eat! And I remembered being so psyched when I perfected the art of breastfeeding while lying down. Wow, the convenience store was in full swing then. And I recall my husband's face when I would leave the house without a bottle of pumped milk. It really was "have boob, will travel" and I loved it that way. And then of course, the inevitable happened when he was 3 months old, and I had to return to work. So our lovely "have boob, will travel" system disintegrated because A just didn't seem to want to go from boob to bottle anymore, with the exception of the middle of the night feeding. And then the middle of the night feeding stopped around mid-May when he started sleeping through the night.

But long story short, I felt like an important chapter of my life was closed this weekend, and I really wanted to voice my feelings on it. I really needed to write this out. I've been hormonal about it all week, but I still firmly believe that A is much more healthy because of it. The poor bugger has been constipated because of his diminishing supply of breastmilk, but he's on solids 3 times a day, so it helps keep things moving. Which was a personal goal of mine, because I never wanted him to be completely on formula all day long. And he has never been on any antibiotics so far and has no food allergies. He's a big, healthy kid and I'd like to think I had something to do with that. There have been very few times in my life that I met a goal I have set for myself. Hurray for me! I actually did something I said I wanted to do.

Now the next step is to find a better job to pay for all this formula we need....

2 Comments:

Blogger Kathy McC said...

I understand the mixed emotions about this. Good for you for sticking it out and giving him such a wonderful start!

6:51 PM

 
Blogger Kate said...

Thanks! I think it's something only mothers understand.

10:51 AM

 

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